But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
