Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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