he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Randomize
