yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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