my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
It's shark week go big or go home
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
