Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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