So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
