This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
