It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize