she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
