So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
