does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
My bed smells like the plague
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
