she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
