Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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