R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
