Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
