I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
