I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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