She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
