She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
