i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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