I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
