went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
