I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
