She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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