I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
