She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize