he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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