i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
