apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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