I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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