How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I have tasted many bathrooms
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
