I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize