i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
