yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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