he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Just invented taco cereal.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
