I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
