We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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