Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
