Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
We were destined to go to rehab together
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
