I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
