If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
COCAINE IS GR8
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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