Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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