My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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