get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
