vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
