My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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