I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
