I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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