Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
