I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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