My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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