Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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