ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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