found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
