his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
