problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
and i looked up. we had an audience...
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
