YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
