ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
