dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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