I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Can you bring me the toilet please
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize
