Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize