whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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