do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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