she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
