Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize